The Challenge

September 14, 2013

So, six months after Liz's mum lost her life to cancer, here we all were ready for our event. We had mixed emotions. There was plenty of excitement and laughter as always, but also some other feelings as we all faced two days of emotional and physical challenge. We carried in our hearts people we had lost or friends who had been bereaved and also the deep sisterhood and support within the group. Here's how it went down, and each of our final thoughts on the journey...

Vicky - The Tribe Builder:
I have always felt there is immense strength and empowerment to be found in sisterhood, in women working together to a common end, sharing experience, laughing and talking.

For me the highlights of our journey together have been the moments of true hilarity like the uncontrollable laughter the night we took the 'dress in white' pictures. Moments of sadness and support like the first planning meeting after Liz's mum passed away. Moments of endurance and encouragement like the row down the St Croix. To play some part in building a group of diverse women who all proved themselves > cancer and created forever memories feels very special.

 Joan - The Optimist:
 “A happy person is not a person in a certain set of circumstances, but rather a person with a certain set of attitudes.” - Hugh Downs

A little rain (or a lot), leaky tents, deflated mattresses, wet firewood, allergy attacks, pregnant bellies and high stone steps.....bah! Well, I for one had a wonderful time and I think we did a great thing; we supported friends when they were grieving and out of that sadness created (many) joyful events, and raised money for a worthwhile cause while doing so. I happen to think we are all pretty wunderbar, fabuloso, amazing!!

Angela - The Adventurer:

As the “adventurer”, the first thing I have to reflect on is that I’m very sad that the journey is over!

All that has led us up to the big day have been such amazing stepping stones.  The diverse personalities coming together, creative projects, smiles among the rain, a quick look into part of what has shaped each of us and of course the "strenuous" training have been a real blast and will be cherished forever! Along the way my journey had changed with my mother-in-law being diagnosed and passing away within our short time frame of the Wilderness Warriors Challenge.  I was very thankful to be surrounded by such fine women sharing a hug, an ear, their story and of course a good glass of wine. We still continue to light the lantern in memory of my mother-in-law that was inspired by the amazing women of the Wilderness Warriors. Thank you for letting me share in ALL that is  >cancer!

“I hope you dance…”

Bri - The Innovator:
What I had experienced during the Wilderness Warriors >Cancer weekend was much like everyone else's. Surprised by the rain and totally not prepared for it, canoeing backwards over the rapids, and revealing fun facts about myself that had nothing to do with cancer or healing.  What I did realize is that it is hard to schedule healing. I believe healing can happen in a instant but comes from the only true healer, Jesus Christ.  There was an unexpected connection that only comes from sitting under a pavilion after hours of rain, chilled to the bone, laughing and getting through the bad weather together.  All of us women are greater than cancer, so there was not that much focus on the loved ones who were directly effected, that is still for another time, but we were celebrating and enjoying the life that we still have.

Britney - The Thinker:
Our hike turned out to be more challenging than I had imagined. Granted, I'm not a super outdoorsy girl, but I had camped, canoed and hiked before. But have you ever done that with 11 women in the pouring rain?!  It's a lot harder, and includes a lot more stuff, than you’d probably imagine.  But I'm glad it turned out that way. What struck me the most is how different we all are, and how everything in our lives has made us who we are today. And then how all of that brought us all to this point: being Wilderness Warriors together. Unfortunately, cancer has been a part of many of our lives, but even our encounters with cancer have played a role in making us who we are. And these differences led to those moments of laughter, moments of deep connection, moments of pushing each other further, and even moments of frustration. That’s what made it so beautiful: to watch 11 very different woman put aside differences, and find the things that unite us. So I am actually thankful for everything that has happened in each of our lives to bring us together for this. I'm thankful for the way each of these women has influenced me and changed me. I am honored to be a part of these women's lives, and to have joined forces with them to make a positive difference in our world. I’m proud of the way we’ve all become friends, and raised as much money as we did! Of course healing happens over a lifetime, and maybe the money we raised won't be the final solution to curing cancer, but this challenge definitely played a role in both of those things.

Candace - The Advocate:

The highlights of  >cancer represented for me the opportunity to get to know this amazing group of women, to hear their hearts in one-on-one conversations along the way, to seize the chances I had to intersect on a heart level during special moments along the way, and make new connections.  Being an "advocate", I see myself taking that into the future and looking out for the dear friends that I have here, cheering their victories, caring in their trials, and supporting where I can.  I love the laughter, the desire that there is to support each other and enthusiasm for living that I associate with this group. I also really appreciate that Vicky pulls the group together and keeps traditions (can't wait for CFCL movie nights!) as the Tribe Builder that she is!

Kelsey - The Enforcer:
We spent so long preparing for the camping trip that it was almost a shock when it finally arrived! I think it was different than any of us expected, sometimes better, sometimes worse. I learned a few important things from the whole thing: 1. Even though I don't like camping, I am capable of doing it when I need to. I am woman, hear me roar! 2. I adore my friends. But then, I already knew that. 3. The most important one for me - as close as girlfriends are to each other and as much as we have each other's backs, only Jesus can truly heal a broken heart. Truth be told, we will always let each other down once in a while, but Jesus never fails, never leaves, and never neglects a wound in one of His kids. Good friends are just an extra-super bonus!

Emily - The Writer:
We all came together for our Wilderness Warriors hike for different reasons. Some to raise money for our cause, some for healing, some to support our friends. In the end our day of love and laughter was what it is all about. We set out to list and name all things greater than cancer and lived it out celebrating life, family and friendships. Amongst rain, wet and deflated beds, and soaked pants from the canoe ride we had a blast enjoying time with each other. The quote, "life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass but learning to dance in the rain" comes to mind. As a cancer survivor I would say that cancer sucks but remember the good times, dance, love and live because all of it is greater than cancer. 

Kelsie - The Scientist:
It was such an honor to be a part of this amazing group of women that stood up in the face of cancer. I was amazed at the strength, diversity and passion that this group has and to have friends like these women is a true blessing. This blessing was no more brought to my attention than one day at work. As a server I am submerged into people's days and sometimes this brief encounter can last a lifetime. Shortly after the WW weekend I was waiting on a group of four women and when I asked what brought them into the restaurant they all talked at once stating that it as the last time that they hoped to ever be traveling through my town, for they only came this way on their way to the cities for one of their own's cancer treatments. She was easy to spot with the headscarf and pale skin and she said with a smile that today was her last "appointment"; at least the last appointment with IV's and cell killing drugs. Throughout the night I caught bits and pieces of these four women's story, including that one of them always drove their friend to her treatments (as her husband had to financially support the family still), kept her house clean, and did the family shopping and cooking. Through the last several months, these women formed a bond I can never imagine that held with it tears, joys, heartache, rejoice and now remission. But the thing that I took most from their story was that truly friendship is greater than cancer.

Kendra - The Learner:
I am a 'Learner' and that is exactly what took place with the Wilderness Warrior women. I learned so many things. I learned very quickly on that we are stronger than we/I sometimes think. Canoeing in rapids, switching positions and managing to stay upright in the canoe (Kels and Bri), camping in the pouring rain, starting a fire from barely anything (Bri!), just to name a few. Also, we were able to bring our gifts, talents and time together in unity and purpose. It just flowed so easily! Because we each had something unique and different! That is what makes this group of women have so much to offer each other and all the people in each of our lives. Life is beautiful ladies, and I am so grateful I got to be a part of this weekend.

Liz - The Canvas:
While our hike is done, my journey with the Wilderness Warriors is far from over. Though it’s been 8 months since my mom has passed, my healing has just barely begun; but my friendships and support from these amazing women has also begun. I look forward to our gatherings every time and know that they will always involve a near-pants-peeing-gut-laugh at least once. Each and every person in the group brings something different to contribute and I appreciate the things that I learn from that. It’s been quite surprising to me what a bumpy road it is to grieve a loss and how suddenly sadness can come over me from nowhere. I really miss my Mom! So how to sum up my experience through this journey? Well, I really can’t because this was just the start. But I am The Canvas, and I look forward to the process I know each of these women holds a paintbrush to.

Memories from the canoe trip, the evening remembering our >cancer, the morning cooking around the fire, and the hike...

We never know how high we are

Till we are called to rise;

And then, if we are true to plan,

Our statures touch the skies. 

~ Emily Dickinson

Take a group of women of different ages, beliefs, nationalities, past histories and current circumstances. Challenge them, and you have a team; a group united towards a common goal; you have "The Wilderness Warriors".

This group of eleven women took the first step when they all said, "YES!" to the challenge, when it is so often our default position to say, "NO".

No because we are busy, no because its too far, too late, too early, too hot, too cold, we are too tired, there are so many reasons to say 'NO' and sometimes only one reason to say 'YES’… because it's the right thing to do! 

 
Last night we all gathered together for the final time in this experience. We shared food and news and then we shared our hearts. We lit our lanterns in the names of those who have fought and won, fought and lost, or been robbed of dear ones by cancer. We spoke of our love for them and for each other. We cried and laughed and shared lessons learned. Our hearts and minds were open and our space was beautiful, safe and nurturing.

Afterwards we all went back to our husbands, children and pets, to our very different lives, a little taller, a little wiser, a little stronger, a little richer. Safe in the knowledge that we are valued, that we are powerful, that we have succeeded and exceeded, that we rose and touched the skies.


-The Tribe Builder

“If there ever comes a time when the women of the world come together 

purely and simply for the benefit of mankind, 

it will be a force such as the world has never known.”

~ Matthew Arnold

Prep For The Hike

The >cancer Wilderness Warriors Hike Against Cancer is THIS Saturday!!

But no, our prep does not mean "packing our gear" or "finding collapsable water bottles" or "learning how to use a compass." Obviously we're decorating shirts and lanterns!

We had to get our >cancer shirts ready so we could all match! We also painted lanterns (mason jars) which we'll light with tea lights in the evening after the hike, in honor of everyone and everything on our >cancer post. 

Of course, you can't get any amount of the CFLC together without a lot of laughing and wine. This time, unfortunately, also included a lot of bees, as well as pregnant ladies with spray paint fumes. [Note: the prolific ones did not have wine. They actually had nothing, because we didn't plan for them. What do you drink when you can't have wine?]

Since a few of our number couldn't be there, we decorated their shirts and lanterns for them. We tried our best to decorate them with things they'd love and represent them well. So, for example, Kelsie's shirt was spray painted green "because she likes frogs." Emily's lantern has an abstract bookshelf, whatever that is. But we're sure she'll like it. Joan's shirt got the first of the awesome Wilderness Warriors logo that Vicky designed with a bleach pen, so she's got those bragging rights. And Candace's lantern has clean and straight lines and is bright and colorful, because she's that way. 

It was fun designing these things for the girls we've grown close to over the months of preparing for this hike. At the start, we just liked watching movies together. Now, we've grown into "those friends" that you call at all hours of the night if you need to. We come and clean each other's houses when life just gets too busy. We share the fun and not-so-fun stuff in our lives because we've proven trustworthy to each other. This Saturday is going to be a momentous occasion in our lives, as we take time to remember those we love whom we've lost to cancer, and celebrate the step we're taking to help rid the world of cancer. It will be bittersweet and beautiful. But of course, the Wilderness Warriors won't stop here. We've got 3 more babies coming! And of course, it takes a village to raise them. Good thing we've got the Tribe Builder.

Scroll down to see some picture from our painting shenanigans, but first we wanted to share this poem:

Women on Fire, Women inspire, together we are wise,

Our reality occurs to us daily; our hearts are soft, our will is strong,

Our true value is yet unknown even to ourselves.

It’s time to recognize we are all one, mothers of a new world;

Here to love not fear, our kindness will kindle a future of hope.

We need a realization that we can forgive, the past is past,

Surely we are responsible for what happens next?

Let make sure it is inclusive, embracing, collaborative, enriching,

Abandon now the competitiveness between sisters,

Instruct a new paradigm, a stand for integrity, a wholeness that brings joy,

Not born of yesterday, but seeded with our hearts and wombs.

A new blueprint for life and work, for families, for parenting, for abundance,

Breeding a society that serves all, dependants and workers alike,

Humanity for humanity, fair for all and love for everyone. 

Written by Pauline Crawford 23.04.2011 for Women on Fire

Bio: Candace

About Candace:

Lots of things are important to me, mostly revolving around the special roles my life gives me as a wife, mother, daughter, friend and advocate. I am a Jesus follower, and rely daily on Him, my vital need, as I live out these roles! I love the relationships I have with my parents as their daughter, to be married to Santy as his wife and the love that I have for my own children and the experiences of motherhood, the amazing friendships that make life so much richer, and the opportunity that I have to be an Advocate for foster care in our community. And, I get to work with incredible teams of talented and wonderful people at Wells Fargo, managing technical projects.

Greater Than Cancer:
What is Greater Than Cancer in my life? Although many of us have suffered great losses to cancer, I am in The Wilderness Warriors experience for the things that cancer cannot steal away – the ripple effect that a life makes in the world around them, even in their absence, the love that wells up in a heart at the memory of a dear one lost, the years of ordinary, non-cancer life lived in the regular beauty of routine and relationships, the imprint of character, preciousness, dearly loved-ness. With or without cancer, a life is a precious gift to their world, and that is so strongly validated by the force of this group of women, with their talents and passions, and that is what I love about this opportunity.

About My Dad:
My father’s name was Jim Henry, and while I lost him in 2005 to the complications of his esophageal cancer treatments, the legacy that he gifted to me is far greater than his journey with cancer and the pain that we experienced together struggling through it. He was many amazing things to me, and those he crossed paths in his life with. My Dad loved extending a helping hand, a word of advice, a piece of joy to those around him. Never concerned with recognition, he carried himself thinking much of others and little of himself. When his efforts were received with delight or praise, he responded virtually always with a grinning, “no big deal”. He was so pleased to make someone happy or help meet someone’s need. He was a special man – generous, caring, hard working, resourceful, and tender hearted deep down. That man he was to me is infinitely greater than cancer, and I intend that my life will be the same, whether my path crosses with it personally or not. 

Super huge thank you to Vicky and these wonderful women for the honor and joy that they bring to the Wilderness Warriors day we will have together and the opportunity to give to celebrate together and make a contribution to an organization passionate about fighting cancer, and extending the days and ripples that we have a chance to live in.

Group photo!

It all started like most of our great ideas do: with Vicky.  Being in contact with the Cancer Research Institute, she learned about some exciting new treatments that were being researched.  The CRI was asking people to wear white (presumably to represent white blood cells) on June 7 to show support of the research, and then send in photos of themselves in white.  We can do that, right?!  Easy!

 

Now, you go ahead and try to get 11 busy women in the same place at the same time wearing the same thing.  By some miracle, we all ended up at Kelsey's house on Friday at 9:30 pm.  Most of us were wearing white, although Britney was convinced that her bright blue shirt would somehow not show up as much as her lovely white skirt.  After a bit of convincing and a tour through Kelsey's closet (which included some "Can I have this?" "No." "But it will look better on me than it will on you!" "Shut your face."), we finally managed to have everybody in the correct place, in the correct color.  Now that the hard work is done, it'll be super easy to just snap a few pictures, right?

 

Wrong. 

 

So, so wrong. 

 

After enlisting Kelsey's brave husband, Peter, to be the photographer, and taking a couple test shots on the couch, we decided to get more creative and started discussing our photo options.

 

In the front yard?  Too dark.  Under the bright garage light?  Too garage-y.  On the stairs?  Too senior picture.  In front of that wall?  Too white.  And then, eureka!  Kelsey has a red wall in her bedroom - we would show up great against that red wall!  (pause while Kelsey runs upstairs and makes the bed)  So we all traipse upstairs to the bedroom to stand against the red wall.  Only problem is, it's not a whole wall.  It's a square on the wall, painted behind the king size bed to act as a headboard.  Behind the bed.  The bed's in the way.  So what can we do except all get on the bed?  We NEED that beautiful red background for our picture!

 

 

 So that's how Peter came to have 11 lovely women in his bed on a Friday night. 

 

 

 

Life tip: If ever you want to get to know someone a little better but you don't know how to take the next step, have them lay on their tummy on a bed and then sit on top of them while trying to act casual for a picture. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

If you think it was difficult up to this point, you clearly have never tried to get 11 people to smile nice natural smiles, with their eyes open, all at the same time.  Bri seems to have a remarkable skill of looking at every possible item in a room except the camera.   Liz thinks she looks more natural in a picture if she lets loose with a sudden loud guffaw, even if nothing funny just happened.  Candace, Joan, and Angela were just trying to make the best of having to sit on top of a wiggly giggly pile. 

 

After a few (read: a lot) of terrible pictures, we managed to nail a few nice ones.  But true to American form, if a little is good wouldn't a lot be better?  So we decided to go for another clever pose to get a few more great shots.  I know!  Let's all lay on the floor!  In a circle!  Brilliant!  So we shimmied ourselves into something less like a circle and more like an oblate spheroid.  At one point I heard someone say "I think your boob is in my ear", which is just not a sentence I was expecting to hear today.  Or ever in my life.  Leave it to the Wilderness Warriors.  Once on the floor, it was basically a repeat of the chaos on the bed.  Bri, look at the camera.  Emily, stop looking so smooshed.  Kelsie, move your hair.  Kendra, your feather is in my face.  Bri! Camera!

 

 

 

(Clockwise from the blue hair: Liz, Angela, Candace, Joan, Kelsie, Emily, Vicky, Britney, Kelsey, Kendra, Bri)

Truth be told, we had a great time.  How fun would it have been if we'd just sat in front of a camera, smiled a canned smile, and went home?  No fun at all.  Things got a little crazy, but all's well that ends well, and we ended up getting some fantastic, genuine shots that show who we really are: a group of dear friends who love each other and hate cancer. 

 

Bio: Liz

About Liz:

I was recently married to the man of my dreams, Matt, in September 2012. We have two boys, Chance, 11, a big sport fan, and Franklin, 4, obsessed with every kind of superhero. We also have one more (sex TBD) on the way!

I chose the label ‘Canvas’ not only because I have tattoos, piercings, and like to frequently change my hair’s color to anything else but ‘natural’, but also because I accept all of life’s experiences, challenges, and tests as a way of molding who I am. I always say I have no regrets in life because if I went back and changed anything, I wouldn’t be the woman I am today, and frankly, I quite like her and the path it took to get here!

“I wouldn’t trade the pain for what I have learned…” from “Crystal Ball” by P!nk. Click here to hear the whole song.

While I am not a religious person, I do have a strong belief that things work out the way they are supposed to and “what’s meant to be will be”. This work of art (my soul) has been taking shape for 32 years thus far and has many more modifications to come I’m sure. Therefore, I am: “The Canvas”.

I am doing this hike against cancer as part of my journey in dealing with my mom’s recent death. My mom died of lung cancer March 1st. 2013, just 5 weeks after being diagnosed.

A little about my mom: 

My mom was the toughest person I ever knew. She was a very practical, hard-working, strong, faithful, patriotic, reliable, and humble woman. She was not afraid of anything; not even her sudden, fatal diagnosis of Stage 4 Small-cell Lung Cancer.

My mom had an endless amount of skills, from sewing, painting, calligraphy, aviculture (when we lived in Hawaii we had over 100 birds, many of which were exotic/endangered species), gardening, upholstery, and was often called upon when someone needed something done. Everyone knew you could call Jan and she would take on whatever project, whether it be nursing an injured animal back to health, sewing a wedding gown, a quick hair-cut, some sound advice, help on a school project, to re-arranging your living room. She was well known for her reliability in any situation. She spent her whole life putting the needs of others first.

There are so many things I learned from my mom, but one thing that sticks out is a lesson on anger management. Back when I was young and naïve, I found it very satisfying to throw something and break it when I was mad. I remember talking to my mom about it and her response: “Oh, phff! When you are mad, try scrubbing the floors!” I can still here her voice telling me, “That way when you’re done being mad, at least your floors are clean!” She did not pout about anything in life, and certainly not her short, abrupt ending. This hike for me is my way of “scrubbing the floors” to deal with the grief. When it’s over, besides raising money for the fight against cancer, I look forward to the great bond I will have built with incredible friends and the true beginning of the healing process of life without your mom.

My mom's life >cancer